Why No One Gets an 'A' in Physics
by Seaouryou
Summary: [InuPapa x Mama Higurashi] How many ways is the universe determined to screw Inuyasha and Kagome over? The world may never know.


You would think, Kagome huffed, that a several-centuries old daiyoukai would have more important things to do after getting resurrected from five hundred years of being dead than to chase skirt.

Especially when that skirt was the long, modest one of her widowed mother.

Kagome sat on the steps in front of the shrine, her elbows propped up on her knees and her chin in her hands as she glared at the street. Inuyasha's father's deep voice and her mother's high, clear laugh were audible from the house.

Kagome scowled.

Inuyasha walked up behind her and plopped down beside her, mimicking her posture. The both frowned.

A black car came speeding down the street and stopped in front of the shrine. Inuyasha and Kagome watched as the door swung open and a man in a suit exited. He looked up and at them, removed his hat, and began up the steps.

Oh, fuck, Inuyasha muttered. They stared at the five-hundred-years-in-the-future equivalent of Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru stared back.

Inuyasha broke the silence.

Oh, this is the perfect end to the perfect day! What the fuck are you doing here, Sesshoumaru!

In one smooth motion, Sesshoumaru jammed the hat he was still carrying down on Inuyasha's head with enough force that it slipped past his eyes. Inuyasha yelped and snarled and tugged at it. What the hell was that for!Cover your ears when you go outside, little brother, Sesshoumaru said blandly. Is he inside? Inuyasha muttered, his voice muffled by the hat he was still trying to rip off.

Kagome exclaimed suddenly. Maybe you can talk him out of it!

Sesshoumaru arched an eyebrow. Talk him... out of it?You're the only one that's ever spoken to him! So you should be able to reason with him! Right? Sesshoumaru said, walking past them. There was a few moments of silence (save Inuyasha's grunts as he tried to free his head) until a shouting match erupted, during which Kagome caught Never learn from your mistakes! and Egotistic, ungrateful offspring! followed with a clatter, and then Sesshoumaru reemerged.

He _hit_ you! Kagome exclaimed, noticing the way he was touching his jaw.

Yes... well... too be fair, I hit him first. And I poisoned it... he rubbed his jaw once more, then dropped his hand. You're on your own.What? You didn't get through to him at _all?_I didn't really expect to. The same thing happened when I tried to talk him out of marrying Izayoi-You tried to talk him out of Inuyasha's mother! she sputtered. How dare you!

Sesshoumaru gave her a look that clearly said You hypocrite.

Kagome scowled and crossed her arms. She glanced at his fancy car and said, rather snidely, Let me guess - you're some CEO of some company and a multibillionaire.God, no, Sesshoumaru said. Why would I want to do that?Then what do you do for a living?I'm a teacher.A teacher.With _that_ car?I happened to have saved up for fifty years to buy _that_ car.

Kagome hmph'ed. What do you teach? History? He turned to go the moment Inuyasha wrenched the hat off his head, gasping for breath. Kagome noticed he chose to float down the stairs, instead of walk.

Inuyasha seethed.

_Though he's a prick that knows how to wear a suit_, she thought, watched his back appreciatively. She salivated a little.

Inuyasha asked, frowning at her. She snapped back to reality and grinned at him with an odd sparkle in her eye.

Inuyasha, we need to buy you a suit.

--

When Inuyasha and Kagome went back inside, they found Mrs. Higurashi fussing over the Inu no Taishou, pressing an ice pack to his eye and saying what a horrible thing that was to do to a person.

What can I say, Inu no Taishou said, sighing tragically. He got it from his mother. She... died a long time ago, you see, he said, tearing up a little.

Mrs. Higurashi cried, pressing her fingers to her mouth. You poor thing! She threw her arms around his neck. How long ago was it?Eight hundred years.I know just how you feel, she said, giving his shoulders a little squeeze. I lost my husband. I get so... _lonely_, sometimes.Ugh, Mama!Oh, you two, She said, turning her neck to look at them. Are you fine with ramen for dinner?Hell yes! Inuyasha exclaimed, before Kagome had a chance to stop him. She was more cautious.

Inuyasha's father and I are going to be going out.

Inuyasha's appetite shriveled up and died.

Inu no Taishou was scowling at them and making shooing motions with his hands behind Mrs. Higurashi's head.

Doesn't that sound like fun, Kagome, dear? Don't you want some time alone with Inuyasha-kun?No! I see him all the time! I want to supervise - I mean, spend time with - you two! Inu no Taishou said with false enthusiasm. We can share childhood stories! When Inuyasha was three, he was scared to death of- Inuyasha snapped, grabbing Kagome and racing out of the house before he could finish his sentence.

--

God dammit, Kagome fumed, her hands buried in her pocket as the wind picked up, blowing leaves across the sidewalk. This is _awful._

Inuyasha shuddered. We'd be, like, _siblings_.

_Souta'll be thrilled_, she thought darkly.

I always never your mother was easy. she shrieked.

You saw the way she was rubbing up against him!Whatever! Your father is a total womanizer!

They walked in irritable silence for a while.

Inuyasha said eventually, with the tone of one who was trying desperately to find a bright side to an utterly bleak situation, at least we get ramen for dinner.

Kagome stopped walking and turned to smile at him. 

He panicked and backed up immediately. You're going to sit me, aren't you?Of course not! she cried, pressing a hand over her heart and trying to look hurt. How could you even suggest something like that?

Inuyasha was not convinced. What're you going to do, then?

She sauntered over, a smirk on her lips, and reached her hands up to caress either side of his face. She leaned forward slowly, on her tiptoes... Inuyasha's eyes fluttered closed and he leaned down...

Kagome grabbed the brim of his hat and yanked it down while he hollered in surprise.

God damn-! Kagome!

She snickered and put her hands back in her pockets, flouncing off back toward the house.

Too bad I'm going to be _Sesshoumaru's_ sister, too.What the hell is that supposed to mean!

--  
End


End file.
